I don't know how I feel about announcing to people that I am a Military Wife. Some are stuck up, some are crazy and some are just normal like the rest of us. I have learned in the last 6 months of living at our first stationed base, that Air Force couples have a hard time being faithful. Everyone seems to cheat, lie and get divorced. Okay,...that's not fair, not EVERYONE. There are so many people who rush into getting married because they feel they have to. A lot of them have never even had a job or lived away from mommy and daddy. It's really sad to see all the failed marriages. For Cody and I, we are still "us". The Air Force is just part of our life now. We have embraced the changes, but we aren't going to let it change us.
I have met some cool people. I am not as scared as I first was, to make new friends. Everyone is a person and everyone is different whether or not they have the Military Wife title. I work with a few cool people also. A few are Military Wives. Being a part of the military is weird because you kinda feel like you shouldn't ever get attached to people. I kinda think to myself, "Well I am only going to be here a few years, so why make friends?" I think this because I do get attached easily to people if I think they are awesome or they make me smile. I also really hate goodbyes.
Also, something else I am feeling is having a career as a Military Wife seems hard. Unless you work from home as a web designer or blogger where your business can go with you where ever you go, then it's not so hard. I just have this attitude towards everything right now, that where ever I work it doesn't matter. As long as I bring home some kinda of paycheck to help save money or whatever. I know this sounds negative, but I don't mean it to. It's just that you never feel like you can really settle down into anything for to long.
My job is probably going bye-bye soon. I say probably because I am having a hard time accepting it myself. I wanted the job so badly! I was so excited when I got it. I do plan to give notice, not just quit. Hopefully this will give me a chance to go back someday if I want to. Why am I planning on quitting? Well because I want to go to Ohio and visit. I want to visit for at least 2 weeks and my job can't allow that. Soon it will be 6 months since I have seen my family and friends. That is hard. Again, it all goes back to the whole Military Wife thing.
The happiness you feel from a familiar face is like no other happiness I personally can feel. The happiness you get when someone you miss also misses you just as much. How their face lights up with joy when they see you. That happiness is not here for me,...yet. No close friendships or family. I miss my parents most of all. It's strange not being able to jump in the car and go over to their house.
I knew when Cody signed up this was how it was going to be. I am not complaining. I actually am very proud of myself for how strong I have been. Now that it has been 6 months though,
the time feels right. It sure as heck doesn't feel like it's been that long. I am sure it does to the people in Ohio waiting for me to decide when I will visit.
My job has helped pay for some car repairs in the last 2 months and it will also pay for my trip to Ohio. I suppose I will go visit and then come back and get another job. It's okay though, because I do like to try new things. I love the animal shelter job, but I understand that they can't let me off for such a long period of time. Also, I want a 401K plan and they don't offer that. (I am getting old!) The job at the shelter has caused me
unnecessary stress also, so it may be for the best anyways. The shelter made me realize that I would like to work with animals in the long run.
I tend to over think things and worry, worry, WORRY. So to keep it simple in my brain, I look at it as what is more important to me.
Going to Ohio to see my family and friends
or
Keep my job at the shelter
Like I said, the time is right to go visit. Everything for me has been falling into place. In the past few days I have reconnected with my old best friend of 13 years. We stopped talking for the last 5 years. It broke my heart like nothing else has in my entire life. Now that we are speaking again, I can't wait to go to Ohio and see them face to face.
Things really do happen for a reason. I can get another job or go back to the shelter later if they would take me back.
