6.01.2012

HELLO JUNE! {A Little Life Update}

It had been awhile since I blogged about just regular life and what's happening with me. May was spent decorating my home, working on bettering my blog, myself and designing for others. It's been fun, but I do have to be an adult and get a job. I did apply for one job because I knew someone who worked there. They didn't call me back, but I know why. I wanted most weekends off. I decided to just be honest and upfront about this and of course with it being retail, no call back. It's okay though because I rushed into applying and honestly didn't want the job anyways. I realized that after I applied. It was a,"What was I thinking?" moment.

Lately I have been hit with the typical woman emotions....
"Should I have a baby?"
"Should I go to college?"
"How am I going to pay for college?"
"What do I even want to go to college for?"
"Why am I already 30!?!"

When I am upset it feels like the end of the world, but as I sit here and type it I find it funny. I just laugh at myself! It's so silly to get upset about a lot of these things. The Air Force won't pay for ALL my college till Cody has been in for 6 years. Well that's fine for the someone younger, but that puts me at 36 years old. OUCH! I don't even like thinking about that number! I don't have a problem working to put myself through college, it's just crappy that I could have it paid for if I just waited. Oh well. I am also leaning towards degree's and studies that I feel are way beyond my brain power! I have been looking at studying Biology or Environmental Science. I really want a career where I can help change the world and help the planet. I am still undecided on what I am most interested in.
BABY CLOTHES may1
Then there is the baby thing. All triggered by a cute baby whale outfit I saw at Walmart! My want for a baby has been dormant for awhile with all the moving from one side of the country to the other. I have been busy and a baby didn't fit into my life at all. Changing my diet to a plant based diet and eating vegan has really made me want a baby. It may seem odd I know, but the thought of raising a cute little healthy human being sounds more exciting to me everyday. I'm not just a military wife that wants to get pregnant because that's what everyone else is doing! I also don't feel like I "have" to have a baby, I want one because it just feels right.

Cody and I have been together almost 9 years now and I ask myself, "How long are you going to wait?" and "Didn't we have enough time together without a baby?" I know it will change our lives so much, but I think we would be awesome parents. We already talk about when we plan to take our kid to Disney World! I want to be vegan longer and get a doctor who won't criticism my diet and my life choices before getting pregnant. Also we will be moving again early next year. I think once we move, that would be a good time to start trying. Will I feel this way then? Who knows! LOL I just don't want to be moving while pregnant or moving an infant.

Anyways, that's where I'm at right now. We are also planning a Disney World vacation for late September! We were going to go on a road trip out to California, but Cody's heart was set on going to the "Happiest Place on Earth"! I am super excited also. We need a vacation together. All my trips and sight seeing has been without him since he joined the Air Force. I am excited to see what the month of June brings us. We hope to do a lot of biking this month, go see the Rocky Mountains with our new friends and just get outdoors more!

What do you hope to do this month?

4 comments:

  1. We are so in the same frame of mind right now. I have plagued by the same school and baby thoughts too. I'll be 32 next year so I constantly hear that clock ticking in the back of my brain. I always wanted to get my master's degree once I finished my bachelor's but I can't decide what to study and I keep thinking that it's time to start a family and put school on the back burner. All these questions are so hard sometimes, but then I think that I should just enjoy life day to day and do my best to make it all work. I need to stop worrying about that stupid ticking clock. I've also had that desire to study things that I think are far beyond my ability. I took the safe way through my bachelor's and studied something I knew I could ace. I do not regret my degree but with hindsight I realize that I could have been capable of so much more. College is more about the passion and effort you put into the subject you're studying rather than having all the 'smarts.' So I say go for it. Study something that you're passionate about because you'll love every day and it won't matter how old you are or how hard it is. It will just click.

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  2. Cody tells me all the time that I can learn anything. I guess since I have been out of school for over 10 years now, it's like starting OVER. Which is fine really. I will say that I lean towards having a baby and staying home to work on an online degree at the same time. I know all about the "clock is ticking" crap. I honestly think you'll KNOW when the time is right. Everyone says you can't plan a baby, but I believe you have to at least have that feeling of excitement. I know that no time is "perfect", but not wanting to put a baby through a move as an infant and having to pack all the baby stuff on top of all my stuff.....NO THANKS! lol So, that's going to buy me some more time. ;) Living one day at a time is good!!!

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  3. So you know I'm going to write a book.

    The baby thing? Join the club. I'll be 26 on the 13th so I don't feel like I have NO time left, but I definately feel this intense pressure to get my crap together so that when we do have a baby I'm not in this awkward stage of life. We are still waiting, but sometimes its hard. Mainly when I see girl baby clothes. HAHA.

    As for paying for school. I could write a book.. but you WILL get grants if you don't have a bachelors. They base grants off your income from the previous year. Not counting your money, but if most of that was E3 base pay.. you will get grants!! Most of the milspouses at my school go for free, espicially if they don't work and their husband is low enlisted. Fill out fasfa and see what happens. But I am 99% sure you will get a grant. But if you do go online, go through your community college not U of Phoneix or some tv school.


    Ok.. back to the baby clothes. Love them. You know I do. And Im just imagining your nursery. Oh Jessie. SIGH.

    Last, I am going for nursing which is way beyond my sociology and arts and crafts project scope. I was scared of failing.. but now Im just going for it. I feel like I'm 26 and I GOT THIS. I didn't feel like that at 18, so maybe going to school when older is a good thing. I KNOW I need to do this for my family. Back then, I had no concept of anything. Im rooting for you with babies (a girl!!), school, Disney and whatever else you want.
    <3!!

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  4. B., You are so sweet. You always make me smile. I totally feel like school would be I GOT THIS for me also being older. In high school I just worried about drama and my boyfriend. What a waste! I plan to go to the education office soon with Cody because he is going to start school also.

    Yes, the baby clothes get you! Especially the girly stuff! I want a girl but would also be excited for a boy. We basically have wanted the same baby names for last 5 years, so that will be easy. lol
    What would the world be with out me decorating a nursery of my own for my own baby someday!!!!!?? That would be craziness!! :)

    Good Luck with school! You'll be awesome!

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