6.15.2013

32 Things Before 32 // #32 Ignore Haters

This is a harder one to post about because I don't have physical proof of accomplishing it, just my story. My entire life I have struggled with always wanting everyone to like me. I've always wore my heart on my sleeve and been hurt many times because of it. Over the years though I learned that when something bad happens to me, I just become a little bit stronger. Last year when my vegan lifestyle was more fresh and new to me I really had a hard time adapting emotionally. I didn't know how to ignore negative comments or reactions that I would receive from people. I didn't get what the big deal was. Yes, I don't eat animals, what's the problem?

Haters

I would seriously just fall apart. I know now that people are going to dislike me because of my values and beliefs. There is always going to be haters. It doesn't matter what you do or say. Over time I realized that people feel attacked personally if you talk about not eating animals. Some people view it as you are trying to be pushy and change them. I have never wanted to make someone feel that way. I just like giving information to people. Plus I just simply get excited when I talk about it. I feel like I am glowing and I have a smile from ear to ear. I get so happy when someone asks me questions about the food I eat and why. It's so nice when someone is curious and listens to what I have to say. I've learned to just focus on the people who are willing to accept me for who I am and not treat me like a freak or a crazy person. Why waste so much energy on those who don't care or show interest? This was the lesson I needed to learn and I feel like in the last 6 months I have.

tumblr-man5s7iipt1rvyqizo1-500--large-msg-134883536395

I used to stress over influencing family and friends to go vegan. It's hard to influence the people I love since they live 1,200 miles away. The best way to prove to people that eating a plant based diet isn't hard is by cooking for them. Since I can't cook for them on a regular basis, they will never understand that I don't just eat tofu and carrots. When I post things about animal rights on Facebook they can just choose to ignore me. Which would cause me to get very sad sometimes. I could never understand why no one cared. One of the reasons Cody and I visited Ohio back in April was to hopefully talk to our families about adapting our diet. I didn't expect my family to want to go join Peta and become animal activists, but I would love for everyone to be healthier. Once I was there with the people I love I decided not to bring it up. It's like the saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." One of my blogger friends said that to me once and it's stuck every since.

6706d24265caef23ac4da45510f0ac9d

During our visit we fed people good vegan meals, they saw how happy we are and how healthy we have become,....done. All I ever hope to do is inspire people and lead by example. Conversations were started with family but ended fairly quick. It just proved to me that I need to let things be. Even though it's hard on me at times, I definitely learned from it as well. Things don't seem to be bothering me as much. I still struggle with watching people eat meat or even seeing it. I don't know if that will ever change, maybe just get easier over time. I do, however, not worry about what people think or say when I tell them I don't eat animals. I also will straight forward tell them why. Which leaves me with this video below. I stumbled across it by accident. This guy is vegan and he took the words right out of my mouth. I found it very inspiring. He speaks out about why vegans shouldn't be scared of speaking their minds.

Skip ahead to 2 minutes and 15 seconds. That is where he starts talking about vegans.

I speak my mind when it's appropriate and I'm never mean or pushy. That doesn't get you anywhere in any aspect of life!! I have always treated people the way I want to be treated. It's so simple yet very powerful. A few months back I had someone tell me that I was going to live a life of depression by being vegan. This was said to me because one day I was really sad over animals being killed for food. As if we don't all get sad about something that happens in the world from time to time. We are human aren't we? Those words were said to me as a personal attack.

Funny thing is, it did the opposite. It made me learn to "Ignore Haters" and I think I am stronger now. I am just going to keep being me. Which is actually a rather happy person I think. If I inspire some people along the way then that's just an added bonus. I hope that this post wasn't just another vegan one to you. I think we all have things in our lives that we are passionate about and wish that others were as well. Just lead by example and always wear a smile on your face. It's contagious. ;)

Things on my list I have accomplished so far:
#3 Learn to Knit | #26 Dye My Hair Pink | #24 Biking in Ohio
#20 Kick My Coffee Addiction | #29 Surprise Someone | #23 Visit A Farm Sanctuary

You can view the full list HERE.
Or check out my labels below to find similar posts like this one.

11 comments:

  1. It is so difficult dealing with vegan haters...I feel like its a regular thing now. You just have to keep your head up!

    Also, way to go on accomplishing those things so far. Kicking a coffee addiction is terrific!

    Melissa
    http://wildflwrchild.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Melissa! You are right, there are haters towards vegans everywhere. It's because they fear they might have to "change" as well. Change scares the hell out of people. If you tell people not to eat meat/animals they feel personally attacked because food is such a big part of people's lives. It's craziness. I just wish people would look at it from a health stand point more. I still drink coffee, but I don't even feel addicted anymore or even that I need it. :) So I am pretty happy about that. Thanks for your comment.

      Delete
  2. Bravo sister!!!!! The whole time I was reading, I was thinking, "Lead by example." In fact that's what I wish America would do. Instead of invading another country, fix the homeland. Make it a mecca, then lead by example. Oops. As you know, I am passionate about non-violence. And though I am not a vegan, I do struggle with cruelty, especially cruelty to animals. I cried when sharp shooters decided to take out the deer population in Cleveland few years ago. What a cowardly act. Trust the Earth, it knows how to balance its own ecosystems.

    Didn't mean to write another novel, Jess, my passion is just spilling all over the place these days. And, again, I am in awe of how in sync you and I are. I was planning an anti-hate post, also a tiny house post....I hope you don't think I am always copying off of you! But you do inspire me. Thanks for that and thanks for your courageousness. You are fabulous! YOU GO GIRL! Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I need to always just keep the "lead by example" motto in my head at all times. It works in every aspect of life. You are so right about America. I agree with you. It's such a mess and it's so frustrating to have to watch it all unfold everyday.

      They recently were going to start shooting the Antelope on base because they are an "inconvenience" to drivers. They said the population is too large. Which is funny because they are supposed to be protected on base. Now they are going to just kill some of them. I wish humans would learn to just leave some things ALONE!

      Also, I never feel like you are copying me. ;) I think we just are a lot alike and are interested in the same topics. Plus, I love reading your spin on the sames topics. No worries, just blog about whatever your heart desires. I know you aren't "copying" me. I am so glad that I inspire you.

      Delete
  3. I think it's really great that you won't let it bother you that much anymore. I find it truly strange, everytime I read about people being offended by a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle. It's so common here, I even dare say that one out of four people is a vegetarian here. Or maybe one out of five. But a lot really! And no one questions anyone. Maybe you should come live here! :D But even in other aspects of life, I get what you mean. I have spent years being sad about what others thought of me. It was my goal to try to get over it and I think I have for the most part! I don't cry anymore haha. I just think 'whatever' and move on. I've learned to be proud of myself :) xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's way easier to get through life if you don't let others effect how you feel so much. It can be a very hard thing to overcome of course. I know I will have times where I will struggle always, but for me it was learning to accept it more so that I can move on. I probably would love it where you live! A lot of the problem with the vegan thing is the area I live in. It's such a huge meat eating community. But we won't live here forever anyways. :)

      Delete
  4. I love this post so much. Your brazen honesty about your struggle hit me right in the heart- because I feel as though I'm going through the same thing now that you were awhile ago. People I love dearly have said very mean things to me and hurtful things about animals. One of my very good friends raises cows for food. I only have one vegan friend and she lives 2 hours away (but we talk on the phone every other day, so theres that!)

    I think it's so important to tell our stories and speak our truth. In the end, that's all we can do. Live our lives by our own values and not be attached to the outcomes of the information we present to other people. People have an amazing ability to change- and I know that because I've changed completely. I would drool over the sight of a roasted pig and now I am only filled with compassion. To an extent, it's true vegans might feel a little more pain than others- but I'd rather feel pain than make others (humans and non human animals alike) feel it. And when you transform that pain into action, kindness, and presence you live a life all the richer for it.

    I've found the podcast Vegetarian Food for Thought extremely inspiring and the author Colleen Patrick Goudreau has some incredible insights on dealing with the social aspects of being vegan-If you don't know her, please go check her out. That podcast was a life saver for me <3

    And I'm so happy I've gotten to know you, even though it's only through the blog world. You're an inspiration and I followed your blog before I was vegan so your tid bits helped me find my path, so it's always worth it to tell your story!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love this post Jessie! I'm quite similar in that I want everyone to like me and get very hurt when someone dosn't or reacts negatively to me. Becoming vegan definitely makes you toughen up and learn how to deal with people trying to insult my lifestyle. I still get really annoyed and don't understand why people can't leave me be, I don't push my views on anyone, why should I be bombarded & attacked with theirs.
    As you can probably tell I still have a lot of toughening up to do lol!

    I think some vegans definitely give the rest of us a bad name by being so elitist and negative towards people who eat meat. Seperating ourselves from society is exactly the wrong thing to do! No one will ever change the world by attacking it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It really takes time to adjust to "haters"!! Over time it will get easier for you. :). I'm super sensitive and sometimes it's still hard. I just avoid talking about it around certain people or at certain times. You pick your battles wisely and just lead by example. :). Thanks for reading my post!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Definitely right doll, us vegans and vegetarians SHOULD speak our minds. What I usually do when someone "hates" on me for being a pescotarian or for other reasons of the matter, I simply tell them that I'm jealous of what they are missing out on and that I can care less if they talk crap about my lifestyle. To me, if someone hates on me, I always tell myself that I don't have to care about those who are ignorant and want to feed on something that potentially can bring them trouble/harm them (this also goes for ignorance, racism, homophobia, etc). If they want to have a toxic lifestyle, that is totally fine because they are their own person. Just my personal view!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right. I actually work with someone who always has something negative to say and never smiles. I was upset about it at first, but I realized its their problem. In a way I feel sorry for them because they must really have an unhappy life to be that way daily. You can't change people, so I just try to spread happiness everyday. :)

      Delete

HELLO! :) Thanks for taking the time to comment! I love hearing what you have to say. I do reply to comments through email, so make sure you are not a no reply blogger so that I can indeed email you a response back. :) Not sure what a no reply blogger is? Read about it HERE.