Feeling Blue & Why I Hate Facebook

What do you do when you are having a bad day or you are feeling blue? I write a blog post and listen to The Black Keys. I've been having a rough few weeks. Last week I cried at work, which I felt so silly about afterwards. Luckily it was only in front of two co-workers and I stopped pretty quickly. I like my job but they keep giving me more job tasks and I find myself overwhelmed most days. I am working on dealing with my stress better. As I've gotten older I have also gotten better about controlling my emotions. I actually rarely ever cry anymore. (except when watching movies) Most of the time I find myself able to just blame PMS.

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Yesterday I was fine until Cody told me that one of the guys he works with made some comment about me being such an obnoxious elitist. Let me back up a little bit. It all involves Facebook. Facebook has caused me so much drama. Just the way My Space used to 8 years ago, or whatever it was. For you that may not know, Cody and I live 1,200 miles away from our family and friends back in Ohio. We have always felt it was important to keep our Facebook pages for this reason. Over time though, we have found it really doesn't help. Once Cody and I decided to go vegan (eat a plant based diet) we were super excited about it.


I made this photo for this blog post. Cody lost so much weight in his face! He's lost over 30 pounds since switching to a plant based diet.
We shared photos of Cody where you could clearly see he had lost a lot of weight. We would post photos of us biking, another thing we really have gotten into since moving out west. More often then not we would get NEGATIVE comments about articles and links we shared about living a vegan lifestyle. I actually got into an argument on my Facebook page with a supposed friend. Defending my lifestyle and choices. He always had some smartass remarks to make. Left me comments about going hunting and eating meat. Just to push my buttons. Eventually he got sick of me defending myself and deleted me. I haven't spoke to him in about 6 months. I guess we weren't that great of friends after all. I am glad hes out of my life though, because I was sick of having my feelings hurt every time I posted something about saving the environment or not killing animals.

My Design When you post things on Facebook for your friends and family to read that live 1,200 miles away you CRAVE their attention and approval. You hope they read it and maybe they find it interesting or inspiring. If they were living 5 minutes down the road it wouldn't feel that way. I find it sad in a way that I feel more of a connection with people in the blogging community then I do with people I have known my whole life. Blogging is a great way to meet people from all different walks of life, but yet Facebook seems to destroy your everyday relationships. Funny how that works. I actually never wanted a Facebook but let one of my friends talk me into getting one. Do I talk to her anymore,....nope. Point proven.

So back to the whole "obnoxious elitist" comment. It all started when Cody posted a link to a story about how meat is irradiated to kill bacteria. (which is exposing the food that people eat to radiation.) I never knew about this. The entire 30 years of my life as a meat eater! Cody is actually writing a paper for a class he is taking right now about going vegan. That is why he found it and decided to share it on Facebook. Now, most the time if you don't agree with someone or something someone posts on Facebook you would just skip to the next post in your newsfeed, right? (Just like you don't have to read this if you don't want to.) Well of course someone had to leave a smartass comment about how they were getting ready to go eat some meat for lunch. Cody posted it for informational purposes, not to be rude. Cody's Facebook page is one of the only pages that I actually leave comments on. Duh, he's my husband. So I left a comment saying that I was glad I ate a simple diet and didn't have to worry about stuff like that. That somehow made me out to be an elitist. Whatever.

The next day Cody went to work and that is when this person told him how he felt about me. Of course Cody told me. I was devastated. I try to be a tuff girl, but honestly I'm the type of person who wants people to like me and I'm sensitive. I get thicker skinned with age, but I can't just let everything role off. Especially when I feel personally attacked. I cried a lot. I couldn't stop. With me though it's never just THAT THING making me cry, it builds up. I am so frustrated with everything right now that has to do with my new lifestyle. I have new beliefs and views. Then when you live away from your family and friends it's really hard because you can't "explain" yourself. I feel like I'm so jaded now and forgotten. I like face to face talks about these types of things. Email or a phone call just isn't how I want to handle it.

So I played nice. I got on Cody's Facebook page and said to this person, "I'm sorry if I offended you. We just really like to give people information about being vegan and inspiring people." I can't remember all I said, it doesn't really matter. I was nice. I even suggested that he could try some of our recipes because they are really good. I guess when I was at work all hell broke lose again on Facebook and I was told by Cody to just stay off of his page. He told me to not read any of it. I guess this person had more rude things to say to me right for everyone to see in plan view. Ironic thing also, is I was going to bake this person some vegan brownies this week. (Guess not now!) Yes I can be a bitch, but I'm also one of the nicest people you will ever meet.

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I got on Facebook and all I saw was a huge ass paragraph that Cody had typed defending me. I feel bad for Cody because he has to work with this person. Anyways, I have no idea what was said to me or about me. It's heart breaking that people want to continue to harass us about our lifestyle and not eating animals. I honestly don't get it. Facebook doesn't make you read people's posts or make you be friends with people. You don't have to read it. If you know someone is posting stuff about saving the environment or banning plastic bags on there wall all the time and you DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF, why would you take the time to read it and leave a RUDE comment???? Get a flippin life.

I am sorry to the people who may read my blog and roll their eyes at my choice to post about being vegan. It's very hard for me to not talk about it or blog about it. Maybe in a few more years I can explain my feelings better with you. I'm just not there yet. This is a whole new life for me. All most of us want in life is happiness and acceptance. Especially from the people we talk to on a daily basis, along with family and friends. I posted on my personal Facebook page today that I planned to delete my page soon. I hated doing it. Then the comments started rolling in and private email messages. All the people that I will miss and that I don't want to lose.

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They are right when they say don't delete my Facebook because of a few people who upset me. Especially considering that it seems to just be people that are in the Air Force and that Cody works with. I think I need to sleep on it and also hear what my lovely blog readers have to say. I just want to inspire people! When you feel so passionate about something it's hard not to talk about it openly. I stopped eating animals because I simply found it disgusting. My views and beliefs aren't rocket science to understand. Something that started out just being a food choice, turned into saving whales, recycling, getting on a bike, loving nature, wanting to sink my toes into the sand and listen to the waves of the ocean. A complete 180 degree change. I'm still me, but I'm not. It's so frustrating. I don't know the right words to use to describe the sadness I feel day after day over these things.

I know I can't change the world, but I will sure will try.
Oh, and reading this post made me cry also. HA!

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